Week 8 (Satirical News)

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Black Friday Could Be Beige
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A report from game industry watcher Max Vitoon predicts that Black Friday—the Friday shopalooza following Thanksgiving—might turn out to be beige this year.
“I’m calling for Beige Friday,” said Vitoon in a press conference last week. “All indicators are beige or possibly a desert tan, but definitely not black.”

Economic hue researchers were divided over this announcement, some suggesting that Vitoon was blind and stupid and others stating support for the unexpected color prediction.

“I’d love any earth tone shades,” commented Riley Minster of the Economic Institute of Redding.

Retailers, who look at Black Friday as the day they begin making profits for the year, were worried about the forecast. Some thought that Beige Friday could cut into sales by at least 12%.

“Who’s ever heard of Beige Friday?” said Kirin Kloss, a manager in a Waterbury toy store. “This doesn’t sound good at all. I think I have a headache.”

“Who decides this stuff, anyway?” complained Marsha Raminer, a clerk from New Jersey.

But Max Vitoon stands by his prediction, and furthermore he believes that Beige Friday will be better for the economy than last year’s Black Friday. “I’m planning on buying a Kinect, myself,” said Vitoon, “that is if any are still available. I just wish it would come in beige to go along with my living room décor.”